Best tweets:

Ignoble Savage 21/05/2019 02:51
Someone should be PUNished for this hashtag Locked up in a PUNitentiary Maybe even sued for PUNitive damages What a PUNk I think we're good here... #HitMeWithYourBestPun
Jay Rombach 15/05/2019 11:32
#HitMeWithYourBestPun I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn't talking to me. #CantHelpMyself
Azor Ahai 15/05/2019 08:28
Mozart started deleting his music after he died He was decomposing #HitMeWithYourBestPun
Catherine 15/05/2019 08:09
A cop just knocked on my door and told me that my #dogs were chasing people on bikes. My dogs don't even own bikes... #HitMeWithYourBestPun
A cop just knocked on my door and told me that my #dogs were chasing people on bikes. My dogs don't even own bikes... #HitMeWithYourBestPun <br>http://pic.twitter.com/q35Xc8DeOE
Agatha Chocolats 15/05/2019 07:47
I want to be in the choir, but icing terribly. #HitMeWithYourBestPun
tis me. Nic 15/05/2019 07:20
#hitmewithyourbestpun My job is to drill holes in things and then bolt them together... Boring at first.. but later on, it gets riveting!
My friends have started a Chinese Burn club.... I wasn't going to join, but they twisted my arm... #HitMeWithYourBestPun
Whenever l get undressed in the bathroom, my shower gets turned on. #HitMeWithYourBestPun
Sad new, my son's pet mouse, Elvis has died. He was caught in a trap. #HitMeWithYourBestPun
Marvin Gaye kept a sheep in my vineyard. He’d herd it through the grapevine... #HitMeWithYourBestPun
Social Sci-Fi 15/05/2019 06:47
I went to the doctor because I had happy pop songs stuck in my head "I'm going to prescribe you some sad rock music" he said "Placebo?" I asked "No" he said "It's the Cure" #HitMeWithYourBestPun
Claire J Cheeseman 15/05/2019 06:38
#HitMeWithYourBestPun My great aunt passed away because she couldnt remember her blood type. Her last words where Be Positive
Claire J Cheeseman 15/05/2019 06:35
#HitMeWithYourBestPun I tried to sue an airline for losing my luggage, but I lost my case
Paul Chuckle 15/05/2019 06:30
Doctor I think I'm a billiard ball He said... get to the end of the queue #HitMeWithYourBestPun ... Sue liked it (that means nothing because she laughs at me all the time!!)
Unnamed Insider 15/05/2019 05:49
Scurvy: Resistance is fruit aisle! #HitMeWithYourBestPun
carter altman 15/05/2019 05:39
A duck walks I to a drug store. Says "Give me some chapstick. Put it on my bill." #HitMeWithYourBestPun
What is @BillNye favorite desert? It’s Pi #HitMeWithYourBestPun
S.J.M 15/05/2019 05:20
#HitMeWithYourBestPun I went to the Ford car showroom to buy a new car but I couldn't focus
Melissa Ceylan 15/05/2019 05:03
It’s hard to explain jokes to kleptomaniacs. They always take things literally. #HitMeWithYourBestPun
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